Our First Week in Seoul 2013

Monday, October 7 - Rochester

Do you think it a bad sign that when we unloaded our luggage at the airport we realized we forgot a key ingredient to our luggage set, the stroller?  Thanks to my insistence we arrive way too early to the airport and Beth's taxi service we were quickly reunited, glad we didn't opt for the MSP airport, that 20 min ride to the airport would have been more like 90 min.

Our flights went about well as expected, you know the short flight to Chicago was late, we burned every ounce of energy running with Evan and carry-ons though the international terminal and security again. We love Korean Air and will plug them at every opportunity, they saw us coming with toddler in tow (or maybe my panicked sweaty self frightened them) but they escorted us to the front of the line and onto the plane immediately. It was the first time in a year and a half that Evan was suddenly surrounded by Korean faces and he just stopped and momentarily grounded right there in the middle of the aisle (you know that person in front of the enormous line of passengers waiting to get on  the plane and someone just stops, people love that). After a quick bark from this loving momma we found our seats and Evan immediately said something I have now lost track of the number times, "I need a snack". Evan loved his seat, he quickly had his multitude of snacks and found headphones and movies all before the emergency landing lecture. 

Tuesday, October 8 -Seoul 

About a million miles later we landed at almost 5pm to to find that our biggest piece of luggage did not join us on our journey, but it is so hard to be upset because those beautiful KA flight personnel are so nice. The bus ride from airport to our apartment that E had been looking forward to for months was slept through, all 80 min. Glad someone got some shut eye. Dan best described the drop off like: the bus pulled over (no shoulder mind you) while driving down what could compare to Michigan Ave in Chicago and plopped our luggage on the street and left us there. The sidewalk was blocked by shrubbery and traffic was crazy, oh and that sleepy toddler was deliriously crying. Lets just say not an experience I wish to repeat. we found a sidewalk and a crosswalk a block up, crossed our 8 lanes of busy traffic, eventually found the apartment. Our apartment manager scolded us upon entering the apartment because we didn't immediately take off our shoes. Did I mention the sobbing toddler, my haggered look (also wearing boots) carrying too much luggage and you want me to stop everything in the hallway?? A real treasure. 

Wednesday October 8 - National Hangul Day (alphabet/language)

To tell the truth I expected some festivals or dancing in the streets, since the adoption agency is closed there had better be something exciting to make up for that!  We spent day the walking around our neighborhood and locating the adoption agency. Hard to believe that even without map or directions with us we found the agency first attempt- okay I had read those directions about a million times in the past few months but still impressive with the sleep deprivation.  I can honestly say I do not remember the rest of the day

Thursday October 9 - meeting with Elleigh Bom

We found a Korean/Chinese restaurant close to the  agency that looked not only affordable but had photos (this is very important when you don't know the language and your silly translator app requires wifi). Dan had a octopus soup with a side of noodles and black bean paste. I had a rice and black bean with sweet and sour 'meat' (no clue). Evan had most of what he attempted on his nice shirt.

 We met at the agency and was whisked away by a driver and social worker into a van that took us to Elleigh's foster family's home about 45 min away. As we pulled into the apartment complex there is a huge playground and Dan and I found her immediately. She didn't want to leave the playground is an understatement but I think she was promised a snack which like Evan will make the world go round. While Mrs Lee (foster mom) fixed some fruit and yogurt for all of us we attempted a meet and greet with our daughter. Evan was pretty excited and forced several hugs. Elleigh kept a good distance until she needed someone to open her cheese slice, I jumped at this opportunity. 

When we all sat on the floor to chat we learned that this girl can eat, we hope Evan can learn something from her. She is a good sleeper and spends most of her day at the playground. (This may be a probelm with winter in Minnesota). We learned she adores her foster dad and later witnessed this, as we were saying our goodbyes he arrived home and she was so excited, ran over and bowed repeatedly so enthusiastically she tipped over face first. When we were leaving the apartment Mrs Lee told her they were going to the playground, she immediately ran over to stuff her chubby feet into her shoes and grabbed Evans hand and pulled him outside, she was running best she could and we could hear Evan say "whoaaa slow down Elleigh Bom".  Melt. my. heart. 

 Friday October 11

We spent the day exploring the Gangnam area. We started out at the Gangnam Vistors Information building. While Dan and I poured over maps and brochures Evan ate snacks and played games on the iPhone (big surprise this is what he spends the majority of his days asking to do) 

We visited the upstairs museum of Korean Pop and Drama. (It was free and something to do) 

Evan dressed up like a drama star that he is. 

We roamed through some neighborhoods until we found a playground, Evan desperately needed to run off some energy it probably looked a little odd the three of us walking through apartment complex parking lots on the hunt for playground equipment. We dined at the same Korean/Chinese restaurant near the agency and visited with Elleigh for another hour. 

We were armed with MMs, snacks, books,toys. . . No luck, still really hestitent of us and only wanted the cheese her foster mom had brought. We were left in the agency playroom for about 45 min to try to win some sort of affection or at least dispell some distrust. 

Unfortunately she could still see her foster parents just outside the room so there was a lot of crying out for Apa (dad). Although we know this is going to be difficult and heartbreaking we know she has learned to form attachments which is so important at this stage. 

Saturday October 12 - Children's Grand Park

We spent our Saturday at a large children's park/zoo. Let's start with its free! Dan compared it to a more spread out version in Como Park, in the Twin Cities. We started with polar bears and marine animals. Then Evan fed the zebras, longhorns, mules, deer, llamas, and goats. Then our favorites: jaguars, cheetahs, lions, tigers, elephants. Then all kinds of monkeys then snakes!  We watched camels give rides and found the giant playground. Evan had his first of many emotional breakdowns when two little girls starting chatting him up while building a sand castle. I think the fact he couldn't understand and they couldn't understand him. He just lost it. Poor kid. 

  

 

 

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Sunday October 13 - Seoul Forest

We spent Sunday with another family in the adoption process who also have a 3 year old. It is a beautiful area with tons of walking/bike trails. A few deer to feed, a few great playgrounds. We walked along the Han River (got a little lost) but found our way back!

 

The Good Lord has a sense of humor . . .

We are thrilled we are on our way to Seoul again!  We have been prepping Evan like crazy for months. He is pumped about the airplane and what that involves: snacks, movies, and games (ipad). He tends to forget there will also be time for meals, potty, and night-night. He is looking forward to riding in airplanes, buses, and trains (subways). He is also looking forward to teaching Elleigh how to blow bubbles, use the sidewalk chalk, and do puzzles. (not overwhelming at all). He promises to share toys, give hugs, and teach her "things".  Melt my heart. (of course this is all before he meets her!)

However, when we try to explain that we speak a different language than everyone else in Korea and that we will be trying new foods I get a blank stare, like I have suddenly started speaking a new language myself.
Evan doesn't seem to mind that Mocha is not going with us, he likes to tell us that Mocha is going to live at Mira's house (Mira is Evan's babysitter), however I think after a while he will miss our furry toddler as much as I know I will.

We have an appointment to meet Elleigh on Oct 10 about 2:30pm (12:30am CST)! Then we have a court appearance on the 15th at 10am (8pm on the 14th CST).  oh the excitement!  We would appreciate your prayers for both of these events. It is pretty much guaranteed that meeting our 18 month-old for the first time will be a mix of emotions but the court process has had some mixed reviews from previous travelers and has me a bit nervous. Unfortunately we were told we would not receive custody of Elleigh until the final court approval several weeks away.  Which is understandable but we find ourselves jealous of the the families with a different agency that get custody of their children much earlier.

Did I mention we were warned there is expected Monsoon-like weather the day we land in Seoul . . .

I have had the time (okay sleepless nights) thinking about when we first met Evan, how it didn't go as expected, good and awkward all together. Even more gut-wrenching was the day we took custody. Trying to imagine what Evan was thinking, his confusion, Mrs. Choi's heartache, and our complete inability to communicate well with Evan. How similar or different will our growing family's experience be? Honestly I haven't even had the chance to dwell much past Elleigh's homecoming and all those upcoming sleepless nights bunking with her on the floor mattress because I am so focused on the trip and the unknowns involved for our entire family. I worry about taking Evan away from his routine, taking him back to his first home; will he have some sort of memory or confusion, or heck, food or sleep issues? Even with all the prep work with Evan what if it is a disaster.  Seriously this has disaster written all over it!  Haven't even mentioned that Dan and I are awful travelers (at least together), and we are as stubborn as mules and get lost anytime we attempt to find our way in that MEGA city. Now we get 5 whole weeks in a small apartment, gigantic city, limited communication skills, and with a 3 year old.  In fact, I think the only time we didn't get lost was the last day on the way to the airport bus stop, seriously our last attempt at navigation, okay we cheated and scoped it out the day before. don't judge.

Last night at church I was again reminded to cast my worries at the foot of the cross - AND LEAVE THEM THERE. Sounds easy right?  (I really should have this tattooed to my forehead so every morning I would be reminded when I look in the mirror.) Our church has been doing a sermon series on the Sermon on the Mount and last night it was about prayer, why we pray, how we prayer, and God's desire to give us the desires of our soul - so what is all this worry about?  Just as a parent wants the very best for their child, how much more the Creator of the Universe wants the very best for His created.  Why do I doubt His very best? Why do I continue to find little things to worry about, things I do not have control over? Dan and I had the opportunity at the conclusion of the service to meet with our pastor and pray specifically for our trip and the adoption process. This was so meaningful for us as a family, Dan even said, It can't be coincidence that the sermon was what it was just hours before we leave.  Well No Kidding. God has never stopped His blessings, even in our darkest hour, He just keeps blessing.

With all this reflection going on (or the fact the adoption social worker is stalking me by phone and email to chat about "attachment and grieving") it hit me, Oh my word we are about to have two kids, didn't we just go through this, like last year?  LAST YEAR folks, have we even recovered from that drama?  Didn't we wait like 5 years just to have one kiddo? And now 51 weeks from the phone call to inform us Evan had a sibling and my absolute breakdown on the phone (along with a frantic/sobbing call to Dan in the middle of the work day) we will meet our daughter! 51 weeks seems like such a short "paper-pregnancy". Can you believe I just wrote that, It's all relative!  What is the Good Lord doing? are we ready to do this all over again? Of course we had hoped to start the adoption process again, but 17 months after we became a family of three we become a family of 4. I have a sister with a surprise pregnancy and now I kind of think of that phone call telling us about Elleigh was similar to that same feeling, 'uhhh what in the world, how did that happen'? So maybe "surprise paper-pregnancy"?  if you didn't think the Good Lord had a sense of humor you are so wrong.

We have a name!!!

We finally received our daughter's one and only update and photos! Birthday photos to be exact!!  We are completely thrilled and cannot wait to hold her and kiss those cheeks.  She has E's nose without a doubt. We have been asking E if he wanted a sister and it is hit or miss, he doesn't have a clue. Even when we showed him the photos, he quickly passed over them to get to photos of him.  But then we got a video of baby sister and all of a sudden a baby sister isn't so bad (for now).  So here we are at our one year anniversary of being a family that we name our newest member!

Let me introduce to you Elleigh Mun Freudenburg:

A whole year later . . .

One year ago we met our shy but curious son about a million miles away in beautiful Seoul, South Korea! He was well loved and cared for by his fantastic foster family but we couldn't wait to love and care for him in person! 

May 29th, 2012

I figured if we can survive that traveling experience from our hotel in Seoul to our house in Rochester still a team we were golden and all the other stuff will work itself out!  We survived the drama that very very long day that felt like a 36 hour day (which it probably was). 

May 30th, 2012

That trip to Seoul was a first for Dan and I. We have traveled internationally together (and separately), but on vacation to the beach or on mission trips; but honestly we are not the best travelers. But we were on a mission to create our family. We were hopped up on emotions and feeling completely lost as a minority in a foreign country. 

New foods (chicken feet)

Touristy Adventures: Palace

Looking for dinner

We relied on each other and it was an absolutely beautiful start to our family.

Easter 2012 (just before traveling)

May 23rd, 2012 Aboard Korean Air headed for Seoul

 It wasn't the first time our God has allowed us to be broken in order to build us back up stronger. Each step along the way to building our family has been difficult and heartbreaking. First infertility and all the procedures and disappointments that come with that, then the incredibly long wait in the Ethiopia program only to change the Korea program after a few years. Then seeing E's chubby photo and fall in love but have to wait another 16 months to touch him.

But what I can tell you today is that the wait was worth it. Yes, many will say the same but I really mean it. God used this time to help shape us into the parents we are, help prepare us for the never ending challenges, including the Mt Everest of paperwork related to E's adoption and citizenship. No matter how many times I attempted to plan the perfect time to travel to Korea, or to bring him home, or fit into the best schedule it didn't work. 

Even our little family drama is important to our God and He has a perfect plan. however the real question isn't: does God know what He is doing? But it is: do we understand the long term plan? will we implement it perfectly? - not a chance but I am learning more and more about mercy and grace.  I am not going to be the perfect homemaker, wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, or co-worker (even with the help of Pinterest!) But what I am is the daughter of the King of Creation and with His grace and mercy I can trust He has the plan and will never leave us.  I am realizing few things can really be planned with any certainty except to be challenged and pushed the edge, good thing we are holding hands with the Almighty. 

And who knows maybe they become best friends after all . . . 

Mocha getting over her fear of bathtime

New Court Process

We have been eagerly awaiting news of the new family court decision in Korea as to how they are going to implement a new adoption law put in place last August. Unfortunately there has yet to be an American family travel to pick up their child since the new law went into effect.  It is very sad and disappointing for everyone involved. The family court judges have gone back and forth as to how they wanted to proceed. Currently, the judges are requiring adoptive families to appear in court. In order to do this we must travel to Seoul, meet our child, wait a few days, go to court for 15 minutes, then one of two things: 1) go home and wait to travel back to Korea then spend another week in country or 2) wait in Korea for all the paperwork to be completed. (probably about a month).  Financially it makes more sense to stay in Korea plus this gives us a wonderful opportunity to experience our children's birth culture on a whole new level compared to our short one week trip last year with Evan.  We can make the most of it and be able to share that experience with Evan and one day tell baby sister all about it.

The first families scheduled for court are May 31st. We will be in prayer that this will be a smooth process and these families will be united with their children and the travel/paperwork process will go quickly!  

We still have no idea when we will travel but we still hope before the end of the year.  Please keep us in your prayers as we continue to plan for the extended travel, preparing Evan, and baby sister's adjustment.

We are looking at some short-term apartment rentals, different kid-friendly cultural adventures to plan for, and trying to plan for the things at home to run smoothly while we are gone (Going to miss our little firecracker Mocha)

yes, this is her halloween costume, don't judge me people; I have a toddler that wanted to play dress up!

I have included some of our travel pics from last year to get us excited about traveling again!  Just picture us with a toddler this year!  yikes!!

Our First Parent Teacher Conference and Reflections

We recently attended Evan's first Parent Teacher conference at daycare.  It wasn't surprising to hear how much he loves learning and that he is 'talkative'.  Although there has been much improvement there is still room to grow when it comes to sharing!  But this conference had me thinking about the last ten months, all the changes and how incredible our son is!  

When we brought E home we were told he had about 4-5 Korean words, however anything that came out of his mouth I tried to get translated via a little translation app on my phone!  Still not sure we understood anything other than "Oma and Apa" (Mom and Dad). It wasn't until late August after a trip to visit his cousins, PopPop and GG in Missouri and Arkansas that he started to try out the English language.  He could already point to whatever we asked to identify but actual words were new. Since then he hasn't stopped talking.  There is one phrase or word that still has us stumped.  "Happy Cookie!" I swear that is how it is pronounced. Evan uses it to identify butterflies or a train. It was butterfly for the longest time and recently he will also use it to identify a train, "Happy Cookie Choo Choo Train".  I get a kick out of it every time. 

I assume he is perfectly normal for a 2.5 year old since the two words I hear most often are: 
'NO!' and 'MINE!' and these words are at anytime, anywhere, all the time! (especially when in reference to Mocha wanting attention or Daddy wanting to share a snack). Just wait until he understands he is getting a sister, oh the fireworks!! not a baby sister but a toddler sister that will compete for every toy and millisecond of attention!

Evan knows the alphabet, both lower case and upper case, he spells out Everything, including menus and billboards. We still have a ways to go to learn the sounds of the letters though. He can count to 12, however I think he likes to add some variety on occasion and will add a strange sounding number in there. Evan loves, loves puzzles.  Every time we venture to Savers for a sale we come home with several new puzzles. We especially love the Melissa and Doug 12- piece wood puzzle 4-pack such as this one:

He received a boy doll he named "Joey" for Christmas (he already had a boy doll named "Joey" at Dan's parents so why not have a Joey at home!?!) He has recently started to show more interest in Joey. He likes for Joey to eat at the dinner table with us and then will "read" Joey a book afterwards or while we prepare dinner.  It is fun to watch him take care of Joey. (notice there is already a girl doll for baby sister next Christmas!)




Evan and I attend MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) every other Thursday at our church. Evan loves this time to play with his friends, do a craft and we always go to lunch afterwards with our friends! Evan has been starting to identify specific friends, such as "Hudson" and "Maddie" Two of his close friends from church and MOPS. He has started talking about friends at school also, but "Hudson" was the first friend that he has repeatedly asked about. I wish I had a better photo of E and H but this one of E and his playdate gang from this summer will have to do and then the second photo is of E and M this summer


So in a nutshell our son is amazing, and also the most ticklish kid ever! 
I feel so honored and privileged to be his mother and am forever grateful for the many 'mothers' that have helped to and will continue to help raise him; Thank you Mrs. Choi (foster mom), Thank you GG (my mom), and Thank you Oma (Dan's mom - E has changed "grandma" to "oma") and to his birthmother for giving us the most incredibly amazing gift.