Wedneday: Travel Day

I don't remember really getting any stares of odd looks up until today, as soon as we stepped out of the hotel with a Korean baby all eyes were focused on me, not a great feeling.  We had a bit of a walk, maybe 15 minutes to the bus stop. Then we rode to the the airport, all went pretty well, as long as Pororo was playing, I think he actually may have feel asleep on a hour ride.

At the airport he stayed in the baby carrier to begin with, however after a long line in the family services line (special line for adoptive families and such - LOVE Korean Air). He was ready for a melt down and honestly between the smell of the puke from last night I attempted to wash out from the carrier and the sweat from carrying him I was ready to get rid of the carrier!  The poor kid refused to eat anything, even the food Mrs. Choi packed (things he normally eats).  He did finally start drinking, however it was drink as fast as he can, as much as he can then puke  it all up, that happened a few times before we got to the gate. At this rate we pretty much ran out of clothes by the time we were even on the plane.

Thankfully Evan feel asleep just before take off and slept for about 30 minutes. I was worried about his ears and getting sick on take off/landing so this was an answered prayer.  We were so blessed to get the bulkhead seating arrangements! I had harassed everyone I came into contact with in relation to the airline for over a week so it worked!  we didn't have anyone in front of us we it gave us a little more leg room and room for him to stand up in front of us when he need a break from our laps.  Evan was pretty chill most of the trip, watched the ipad most of the trip. It didn't matter that I had packed 45 pounds of activities for the plane or that we had spent countless hours downloading a bunch of movies onto the ipad, it was just the Pororo cartoons he wanted.
Evan didn't get sick on the plane, which again another blessing but I think part of that was he refused to eat anything.

Evan finally feel back asleep just in time for landing 13 hours later!  Chicago immigration was long and tiring. There were three other adoptive families on our flight but maybe because we were last in the immigration line we got to be the lucky ones to get ushered in the a special immigration room.  A very full room of people coming into the country, probably 40 people, not sure too many people spoke English so that was real fun.  We were there waiting for someone to look at our paperwork for about an hour. before we could get our luggage and head through customs, then the next terminal and security again!  We had Evan walk most of the way, trying to wear him out for the next flight, slowest walk of my life!

By the time we reached the gate we still have about 3 hours before our flight I had hoped to fine a spot for him to lay down and take a nap, I would have been happy to curl up on the floor next to him, since I still haven't slept in what is probably two days now. But he was delirious with exhaustion and was actually pretty funny, lots of play time.  Then promptly passed out the second we sat down on the cramped but short flight to Rochester!

Our Freudenburg family and other wonderful close friends were at the airport to meet us and our very tired shy son!  We are so thankful for their support and encouragement and not expecting too much from us or Evan at that very moment! We are looking forward to the Hemphill Family making their way up here but, I am guessing we won't be much fun for a little while anyway!

At home started a waling of sorts from Evan that lasted about 12 hours, sobbing begging for omma (mrs. choi).  Probably worst night ever.  The previous 10 years of sleep deprived night shifts did nothing to prepare me for the constant sobbing of a two year old. (where is the IV benedryl when you need it?)

Tuesday: Family Day!

We started the morning off packing, repacking, and packing again, just so nervous I had no idea what I was doing.  We arrived at the agency at 1130 for a presentation and lunch with the president of the Eastern Social Welfare Services adoption agency, President Kim.  It was a lovely presentation about how Eastern started and the various activities/projects it sponsors. Lunch was provided by the agency we dined with other adoptive parents and the staff members.  At our table was a father and daughter doing a birthland tour. She was adopted 19 years ago and this was her first trip back.  I spent some time talking with her about her adoption and how it had impacted her growing up, what did her parents do right, what did she suggest.

Adoptive Parents waiting for ESWS Presentation to begin by Dr. Kim

Lunch at Eastern

At Hotel, Pororo keeping everyone calm

Afterwards we met with Mrs. Choi, our social worker, and Evan for about 30 minutes, which was great because I still had so many questions that didn't get answered at the earlier meeting.  Evan was in a good mood, we played with a ball most of the time. Then President Kim did a prayer ceremony over the three children leaving that day.  It was highly emotional, I think the only reason I kept it 'together' is that I have cried enough over the past 18 months thinking of this very moment, I really didn't have much left.  It was heart wrenching to watch these foster parents part with their children.  Nothing prepares you for that.  Evan did great until the actually removal of him from Mrs. Choi to hand to us waiting in the van that would drive us back to the hotel.  It was the first of many many tears, screams, pure agony.  After a few minutes I was sure he was going to puke all over us, he was so worked up I whipped out my phone and started the Pororo cartoons - ahh sweet relief.  It was amazing.

At the hotel we watched more cartoons and he was pretty chill.  After a while we ventured outside to blow bubbles and play ball. I think the bubbles were a new experience so it took a while to figure out what was going on but he loved it, and of course what boy doesn't love ball, especially when it can be thrown into a street!

We needed a bath afterwards and took advantage of the jacuzzi in the room, again may have been a new experience, the tub bath, but he eventually sat down and played.

Other than getting puked all over while wearing him in the baby carrier later in the night all went relatively smooth.

Monday: Buddha's birthday

We celebrated our last day as a family of two by attempting the city bus tour again (after it being sold out yesterday). Just call us savy tourist because we had Success!!! Finally I feel like a tourist. We jumped on the 9am tour bus and hit most of the major Seoul highlights!
1- Gwangghwamun Gate. Which is where we were yesterday
2- Deoksugung Palace (we only made time for one palace, so this one got skipped, just a quick drive by)
3- Namdaemun Market. He open air market we visited Saturday night, it had thousands of vendors selling housewares, trinkets, food . . .
4- Seoul Station. Major hub of transportation in Seoul, and shopping area
5- United Service Organization
6- Youngsan Station
7- National Museum of Korea. We stopped here for an hour or so, visited the ancient artifacts, it is an amazing building, giant!!

City view from National Museum

8- War Memorial of Korea (unfortunately it was closed today!)
9- U.S. Army Base
10- Itaewon shopping area
11- Myeongdong populate shopping district, fashion malls and department stores
12- Namsangal Traditional Korean Village we stopped here a for an hour, it is like a living history of traditional Korean living, houses, tea ceremonies, children's crafts and games, you could pay to dress up the traditional Hanboks

13- National Theather
14- N Seoul Tower (the hike up to this tower is what put both of us over the edge yesterday, but the DRIVE up was real nice today!!)
15- Namsan Botanical Garden
16- Duty free shopping at the fancy Shila Hotel. First we aren't much of shoppers and certainly not anything Duty free, that just sounds expensive so we did not take time to go in
17- Donddaemun Market, more importantly the Changshin Toy Market. This is what Valarie had been talking about for a year and a half so we had to go!! There were several hundred, felt like thousands, stalls/vendors selling toys, supposedly at wholesale price (not really sure that is the case) all this was cramped into one side street. Super crowded and overwhelming. But Evan got some fun Pororo for Christmas, and a stuffed Pororo for the plane ride. Rest assured Dan did not let me go overboard.

street view of toy market

18- Daehangno
19- Changgyeonggung Palace. This is the presidential home
20- Isadong. We have already been here twice so we didn't get back out especially since there was absolutely no room to move once off the bus, there was a huge Buddahist celebration going on, for his birthday at the temple nearby
21- Unhyungung Palace
22- Gyeongbokgung Palace (we did yesterday)
23- The National Folk Museum
24- CheongWaDae

We finished up with dinner with our new friends the Germanns we met on Friday at Eastern! They invited us to the other side of the river where they are staying. It is a whole other world over there, very modern and high end! We shared a great meal at the food court in their hotel complex. We both are sharing in the festivities tomorrow, lunch with Dr. Kim, the president of Eastern, and then in the prayer ceremony and goodbyes with the foster families, then we take custody of our kiddos!! I know it will be a special occasion that we will never forget, it is amazing that we just happen to be at Eastern at the same time and we happen to both be from Rochester!

Please continue to keep our little family, including Mrs Choi in your prayers. This transition will be filled with grief for everyone.

Gyeongbokgung Palace

Sunday we opted to make a comprehensive strategy to get as much done as possible everything was mapped out, subways, buses, everything! We started out at the Gyeongbokgung Palace was built in 1394 as the main palace for the Joseon Dynasty. The campus is huge it is also next to the national cultural museum and children's museum.

Afterwards our plan was to hop on the city bus tour, from all accounts this was a easy process pay your 10000 won and you have a day pass to hop on and off and they ferry you around to major points. Sounded great to get a better understanding geographically and hit the major places. However after standing a hot sticky crowded line for a long time someone decided to finally tell us it was sold out for the rest of the day, due to the high volume of tourists during the holiday weekend. Unbelievable.

We decided to head to the North Seoul Tower, an observatory that overlooks the city. I think we must of got incomplete directions from the ex pats that helped when they found us hunched over the map and guidebooks after the bus tour rejection. It took some serious hiking straight uphill, it was also kind of misty but not enough to cool us off. One thing in our marriage that puts each of over the edge is hunger for dan and overheating for me. Well it just happened that we both hit out breaking point at the same time we found the 1hour plus cable car line to get up the mountain. We knew at point the view of the tower would have to be enough and it was time for food and a breeze!

We found a terrific restaurant, with the help of photos and gestures Dan had this super good fried rice and bean paste sauce (doesn't sound as good as it was!!). I had the seafood platter, Dan was pretty wearry of my octopus but I was even more of the incredible amounts of chili sauce they put on it!

Figured we had better make another trip to Insadong, the artsy, craft area to look for souvenirs, I want to get Jae Hyeong (Evan) name on a few things. Well that would have been fantastic if I would have remembered to bring the Korean print of his name, well and I actually find the person that did that. How is all the other adoptive parents can figure this out? Because of th holiday there were thousands of people on this one street, including a marching band. This claustrophobic momma struggled!! After a long trip down and then back up the street we decided it was time to relax at the hotel

We came to the conclusion that if we were traveling to Seoul for a tourist experience we would keep going, because so far we are seriously unsuccessful. However that isn't out purpose here, we want to be successful at this family transition and being overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted is not the way to do that.

I find myself re-watching all the videos we made of Evan over and over again, I cannot believe this is out little boy. He is so perfect (painted nails and all). we pray that the Lord (and Mrs Choi) has been preparing his heart for this rough road ahead. It breaks my heart to think what he about ready to go through. Very very bittersweet!

Sunday

Things I have noticed:
- not many sandals or flip flops around here, I realize I'm not much of a shoe person, give me comfy tennis shoes anyday but it is incredible what ladies put their feet through to look good
- couples like to dress alike, not just similar but the same clothing (young and old)
- the only morbidly overweight person I've seen was an American
- there is better chance of finding diet dr. Pepper (my lifelong addiction) in Kosova then South Korea. I know this for a fact! My supply is dwindling, must save one for trip day!!
- I find myself staring at young Korean males wondering what will Evan look like one day, hopefully I'm not to obvious in my stares
- everyone is plugged in (phone or iPad even walking down the street just typing away on the iPad)
- I feel safe, never once felt like someone would even think to steal my bag, money or anything else! Haven't even seen any jay-walkers. Seems everyone abides by the rules.
- people are generally very helpful even if their English isn't great (it is still better than my Korean)
- there are NO trash cans anywhere I can find in public, once you are done with a cup or something like that you carry it for hours trying to find a place to put it, I finally went into a fancy department store to use the restroom and almost cried with joy when I got to get rid of my trash I had been hauling around
- I was told to prepare to be stared at because of my blond hair but I haven't found that to be true. I don't think anyone cares. But if you are non Korean you definitely stand out.
- I did have a little girl maybe 6 or 7 run up to me and start chatting away in English, perfect English. It was funny because you could tell her mom didn't understand everything she was saying.
- at meals if you ask for water to drink, you may be met with a questioning look, I'm used to downing several glasses of water at each meal, not the case here, I feel thirsty all the time!
- maps are only suggestions not strictly accurately!
- I have seen way too many government programs while riding the subway instructing me (in Korean) how to use a gas mask in case of emergency and where they are located at each substation
- a holiday weekend is not a great weekend to try to do touristy things, very chaotic!
- I may have not packed enough for me but I packed more than plenty for my boys.

gas masks in every subway station

Saturday: The hunt for the elusive Jogyesa temple

I was kind enough to allow Dan some 'me time' this morning by taking the opportunity to catch up on some much needed sleep for me! In the mean time he planned our day around visiting this incredible Buddhist temple, there are big celebrations taking place because it happens to be Buddha's birthday (a national holiday). All went well with the subway, very crowded and warm but fine. As it tends to happen it is that moment you step out of the subway onto the street and realize "where in the world are we? this map is lying!!!"
I have said those words so many times today I am tired of hearing myself. I consider myself a map lover have since the 6th grade but I am working off a multiple array of guide books, printed off, and a big tourism/folded map. I get that it isn't going to always be to scale but get the landmarks correct - they don't move!!
We took a frustrating walking tour around insadong, tapgol, and gwanghwamun in search of the temple. I was not feeling very Indiana Jones-like but in a way looking back could have been, thankfully no bad guys chasing us just cramping legs and hunger pains!

The more Dan wanted to give up the more it push me to conquer the map. Happy to report thanks in part to the handy compass on my iPhone we found the temple. Found myself thanking Jesus we had finally located it then wondered how He felt about that? It was more of thankful we didn't consider divorce in the process of hunting!

We were beat at this point and feeling like we wasted a day but couldn't bring ourselves to go back to the hotel so we ventured to Namdaemun Market, an open air market where they sell a little of everything, ended up almost like wholesaler booths, everything from luggage, socks, trinkets, serving dishes, lots of street food. I think we were both so worn out it was a bit overwhelming. Very crowded, I was so hungry I opted for a "crab stick" kind of like a chunk of crab meat rolled in a thick cake batter, not going to lie, horrible after taste, I quickly switched to pineapple on a stick. Dan found some sort of suger donuts.
I think we would have been more apt to make purchases but we thought hey it is only sat, not realizing much is closed on Sunday and Buddhas birthday is Monday so that may have been our chance.
It felt like we walked most of the way back to the hotel in search of the subway but after 30 minutes we were again scrunched like sardines in the subway car.

I used to talk a big game, wanted to move to a big city because of all it had to offer, hear me now: I'm so happy in my tiny village of Rochester! I know there had to be more people on a single subway than there are in my hometown.

After a quick bite near our hotel (BBQ). Dan fell fast asleep while I decided to wash some clothes. I figured I would pack light and wear everything twice. I didn't anticipate the sweat factor! Well our fancy room is not well equipped for doing ones laundry and I stopped up the sink and had to have maintenance come to the rescue. Clothes are drying now but probably will still stink. Maybe no one will notice if I stand near the food vendors.

friday food tour

After our meeting with Evan we returned to our hotel to FaceTime,e mail family and update the blog. I became pretty antsy, way too much nervous energy (or profound lack of sleep, either way you get the picture). I had this great idea that in order for us get a better understanding of Korean food and culture we needed to do 4 hour night dining tour. The website promised it would glorious. So until it started we should go walk around and explore that part of the city, figure out the subway and such. The energy lasted just long enough to get to the other side of the city and walk a bit. Then we found a park and rested our eyes. Yep that was us snoozing in a park pretending to be doing something with our phones. It wasn't the good sleep you feel refreshed from but a nauseating jerk awake as soon as you start to drift over and over again sleep. Eventually it was time to meet for the tour.

it was really great, We met up with another couple from Rochester we had met earlier this morning and another brother sister team from Sydney, Aus. We explored different parts of the distric we were in, 4 different restaurants and in each the food was spicy, really spicy. I couldn't really tell you what we ate for the most part wish we could have menus so I could have written it down but these weren't really "menu" type dining establishments. We started out with a outdoor Korean BBQ, basically we were sitting around an oil drum with hot coals inside and a grill on top, with all the sides to make it complete. I dont remember the cut of the pork but it was delish! Then we visited a tiny ancient Korean home they had converted (love all the exposed wiring everywhere) where we had a super spicy bean sprout soup, tofu, and the kicker - chicken feet. I tried but just could get myself to swallow. I felt like we were on "survivor" or that other show I can't think of the name.Dan said I would have choked to death once I had bitten into the cartridge. I couldn't get past the skin that was still on although covered in chili sauce. Then some kind of chili covered root. Looked like a soggy sweet potato fry, let me assure you it was not!

The third restaurant was more of a typical dining establishment we ate two different preparations of Toppoki (sp) it is a mixture of all kinds of good stuff (like bean sprouts, dumplings . . .)plusthese very addictive rice cake noddle thing. One dish was chili/hot the other sweet. Love love love the sweet!!! On the our long walk to the final stop we went to a street vendor where Dan had the pleasure of trying silkworm larve, at this point I was so shocked that this was my husband I could hardly work the camera! Dan isn't the most adventurous eater!! The final stop was actually in a large alleyway in the industrial part of town (as best I can describe it). It was so strange, I wish I could get the photos uploaded because I can't even describe it. It was 10pm and packed for what seemed like a good mile. Lots of separate stalls or booths many selling the same things. Some just sides so seafood, so special (greasy) pancakes, veggies, and BBQ. We ended up with the pancake. Which is probably good since my stomach was already rolling! At each stop there was a different kind or beer or wine but my stomach had enough to deal with so I opted out. I feel like I'm getting old, I used to love hot spicy food!! I kind of lost track of how much pepto I took! Needless to say by the time we caught the subway and got to the hotel we both passed out. We were so tired!

Oh and the funniest part of the day, in the subway station on the way home someone actually asked me for directions. And after I lifted my jaw off the floor I proceeded to give her the correct directions!! Now she wasn't Korean (nor American) and looked pretty lost but it made me feel good that after such a day I didn't look on the outside as scarey tired or emotionally overwhelmed as I was felling on the inside, I looked helpful!

Pororo to the rescue

Eastern Social Welfare Society

So we ended up too restless this morning so we decided to walk on over and try to kill time on the way. (just in case we ended up lost again!) we were sitting outside the agency at a cafe when up walked Mrs. Choi and Evan!! She came over right away and pushed him towards us repeating omma (mom) and appa (dad) and pointing towards both of us. We were caught totally off guard I didn't have my camera or translator! Thankfully another couple we had just introduced ourselves to caught it on film. To say Evan was hesitant is an understatement but there were no tears, so praise the Lord for that small victory! The matchbox cars were good but he wasn't interested in the snacks we brought. But Mrs Choi kept referring to his favorite thing which is Pororo (Korean cartoon). So I pulled out the iPad that I have a ton of Pororo downloaded. Jackpot! I think if he can associate us with Pororo we are good I explained and gave Mrs Choi the framed photo of Hudson holding two photos, one of Hudson and Mrs Choi and one of Evan and Mrs Choi. She balled. She was so happy. You could tell she loved and adored Hudson and missed him greatly and the fact that these boys are now cousins was so moving. She hugged in me and cried. It was incredible. I cry all the time when I think about it but I was told Mrs Choi is not an emotional woman. We learned he likes bananas,fish, eggs, yogurt, cows milk but doesn't like apples or grapes. He is a social butterfly and likes to go to the beautyshop with Mrs Choi and get his hair done. Not mention he likes to get his nails done too. He had on some red nail polish on today. I think Mrs Choi's granddaughter likes to play with him. She also gave us a stack of photos of his first two years and his birthday hanbok!! We meet him again Tuesday and take him home on Wednesday! Until then we work hard to learn as much as possible about his culture. I cannot seem to get blogger to upload my photos for now, so you'll have to check back!

We're here!

Overwhelmed in the only word to describe our thoughts and feelings. It is 4 am Seoul time. Which isn't too bad since I usually don't sleep past 230am at home anyway. (thanks to 10 years of night shifts) After we arrived in Chicago it became more real when we hurried to the Korean Air gate and at the first glimpse of the big blue bird that would deliver us to our son I got something between giddy and terrified! While we waited to board our social worker called for a last minute advice/ encouragement. It was God's timing. I had been rehashing all these different things I had heard recent adoptive parents say on the many forums I stalk. There just seems to be conflicting advice but she was great and really made me feel like we were prepared. It will be one of the biggest challenges of our life but we will make this transition and this trip is just the beginning.

prior to take off!

Here is my plug for Koreans Air!! Loved it. Beautiful and friendly and fairly roomy, food was wonderful and lots of bathrooms so no long waits! I ordered the Korean Bibimbap and dan the beef dish for the first meal. Both were excellent! Tons of entertainment available. Don't let me give you the impression we actually slept more than an hour because we didn't.

Keep in mind at this point it is about 3am back home and I've been up for 24 hours We found our way to the right bus in order to cheaply make our way into Seoul. Dan fell asleep I was too nervous we would miss our stop. 45 minutes later we were let off at a subway station so far so good. I pull out my hand drawn map of where the hotel is located. Because when I looked it up online it looked really easy and I couldn't get it to print. You can probably guess where this going. We trekked up and down busy steeply inclined streets for about an hour. I was sure right off the bat I knew the general location but couldn't see it. After about an hour we stopped a taxi that had a "translator" sticker in the window hoping he could give us a ride because we give up. He actually refused us and waved us on, I don't remember the last time I was begging someone to take money from me and they refuse. We decided to turn the next street (the original spot I thought the hotel had to be) and wouldn't you know it, it is tucked in behind another hotel in dark alleyway. Did I mention we are each hauling a large checked bag and large carry on and backpacks. Once we arrived in the room, both a sweaty mess, we needed an inservice by our hotel clerk how to turn on lights, ac, toilet. Everything is remote controlled! In our tiny room we have two desktop computers with desk and office table with another two chairs, a 50 plus inch tv, the bathroom is actually probably the same size as the rest of the room. It is a little awkwardly laid out and wondering how it will work when We bring Evan here the night before we travel home.

In a few hours we will once again attempt to navigate the streets this time to the adoption agency to meet our son. Again another hand drawn map (at least it isn't my poor attempt) it claims to be just a mile or so, so we will see. I've packed up our care packages for the agency and for my niece who is also here in Seoul waiting for her turn to come home. I've packed snacks and matchbox cars for Evan in hopes i can bribe him towards us. Gifts for Mrs. Choi, however I still need to write a letter to this incredible woman that has loved my son. I have thought about it for 18 months and still cannot put it into words. It still seems so unreal. I'm sitting in bed on my iPad and Dan is lying here watching killer animals on animal planet in Korean. Before that he watched a Korean cooking show-- anyone else think this is weird for us??