Our First Weekend

We may have been sleep deprived but that wasn't going to stop us from enjoying the beautiful weather! We headed to the park for some playtime with cousins Nathan and Rachel with grandma and grandpa Freudenburg.

It took a little while before Evan settled on an activity but it was the sandbox that caught his eye, we played with dump trucks, shovels, and sand pails.  He even explored the play sets and sat on my lap for the slides.  It got a bit warm and we needed to go home and put some shorts on! (all of us!)
We were warned that Evan got car sick, but we had hoped that our super cautious driving in the small town of Rochester would be different than the super busy streets of Seoul - not so.  Those four hard boiled egg whites did not look great in our new car seat!  The kiddo loves hard boiled egg whites!

After a quick bath, Evan was ready to play with his cousins and his favorite toy the lawn mower!

Nights are still restless, but we are hopeful with time and commitment Evan will rest more at night and enjoy some sleep.  We are sleeping on a floor mattress with him to try to make it as much like what he is used to but I know it will take time for him to become comfortable. During the daytime hours we are rewarded with smiles, laughs, and hugs.  We have to rely on those beautiful moments to get us through the more difficult nighttime hours.

Wedneday: Travel Day

I don't remember really getting any stares of odd looks up until today, as soon as we stepped out of the hotel with a Korean baby all eyes were focused on me, not a great feeling.  We had a bit of a walk, maybe 15 minutes to the bus stop. Then we rode to the the airport, all went pretty well, as long as Pororo was playing, I think he actually may have feel asleep on a hour ride.

At the airport he stayed in the baby carrier to begin with, however after a long line in the family services line (special line for adoptive families and such - LOVE Korean Air). He was ready for a melt down and honestly between the smell of the puke from last night I attempted to wash out from the carrier and the sweat from carrying him I was ready to get rid of the carrier!  The poor kid refused to eat anything, even the food Mrs. Choi packed (things he normally eats).  He did finally start drinking, however it was drink as fast as he can, as much as he can then puke  it all up, that happened a few times before we got to the gate. At this rate we pretty much ran out of clothes by the time we were even on the plane.

Thankfully Evan feel asleep just before take off and slept for about 30 minutes. I was worried about his ears and getting sick on take off/landing so this was an answered prayer.  We were so blessed to get the bulkhead seating arrangements! I had harassed everyone I came into contact with in relation to the airline for over a week so it worked!  we didn't have anyone in front of us we it gave us a little more leg room and room for him to stand up in front of us when he need a break from our laps.  Evan was pretty chill most of the trip, watched the ipad most of the trip. It didn't matter that I had packed 45 pounds of activities for the plane or that we had spent countless hours downloading a bunch of movies onto the ipad, it was just the Pororo cartoons he wanted.
Evan didn't get sick on the plane, which again another blessing but I think part of that was he refused to eat anything.

Evan finally feel back asleep just in time for landing 13 hours later!  Chicago immigration was long and tiring. There were three other adoptive families on our flight but maybe because we were last in the immigration line we got to be the lucky ones to get ushered in the a special immigration room.  A very full room of people coming into the country, probably 40 people, not sure too many people spoke English so that was real fun.  We were there waiting for someone to look at our paperwork for about an hour. before we could get our luggage and head through customs, then the next terminal and security again!  We had Evan walk most of the way, trying to wear him out for the next flight, slowest walk of my life!

By the time we reached the gate we still have about 3 hours before our flight I had hoped to fine a spot for him to lay down and take a nap, I would have been happy to curl up on the floor next to him, since I still haven't slept in what is probably two days now. But he was delirious with exhaustion and was actually pretty funny, lots of play time.  Then promptly passed out the second we sat down on the cramped but short flight to Rochester!

Our Freudenburg family and other wonderful close friends were at the airport to meet us and our very tired shy son!  We are so thankful for their support and encouragement and not expecting too much from us or Evan at that very moment! We are looking forward to the Hemphill Family making their way up here but, I am guessing we won't be much fun for a little while anyway!

At home started a waling of sorts from Evan that lasted about 12 hours, sobbing begging for omma (mrs. choi).  Probably worst night ever.  The previous 10 years of sleep deprived night shifts did nothing to prepare me for the constant sobbing of a two year old. (where is the IV benedryl when you need it?)

Tuesday: Family Day!

We started the morning off packing, repacking, and packing again, just so nervous I had no idea what I was doing.  We arrived at the agency at 1130 for a presentation and lunch with the president of the Eastern Social Welfare Services adoption agency, President Kim.  It was a lovely presentation about how Eastern started and the various activities/projects it sponsors. Lunch was provided by the agency we dined with other adoptive parents and the staff members.  At our table was a father and daughter doing a birthland tour. She was adopted 19 years ago and this was her first trip back.  I spent some time talking with her about her adoption and how it had impacted her growing up, what did her parents do right, what did she suggest.

Adoptive Parents waiting for ESWS Presentation to begin by Dr. Kim

Lunch at Eastern

At Hotel, Pororo keeping everyone calm

Afterwards we met with Mrs. Choi, our social worker, and Evan for about 30 minutes, which was great because I still had so many questions that didn't get answered at the earlier meeting.  Evan was in a good mood, we played with a ball most of the time. Then President Kim did a prayer ceremony over the three children leaving that day.  It was highly emotional, I think the only reason I kept it 'together' is that I have cried enough over the past 18 months thinking of this very moment, I really didn't have much left.  It was heart wrenching to watch these foster parents part with their children.  Nothing prepares you for that.  Evan did great until the actually removal of him from Mrs. Choi to hand to us waiting in the van that would drive us back to the hotel.  It was the first of many many tears, screams, pure agony.  After a few minutes I was sure he was going to puke all over us, he was so worked up I whipped out my phone and started the Pororo cartoons - ahh sweet relief.  It was amazing.

At the hotel we watched more cartoons and he was pretty chill.  After a while we ventured outside to blow bubbles and play ball. I think the bubbles were a new experience so it took a while to figure out what was going on but he loved it, and of course what boy doesn't love ball, especially when it can be thrown into a street!

We needed a bath afterwards and took advantage of the jacuzzi in the room, again may have been a new experience, the tub bath, but he eventually sat down and played.

Other than getting puked all over while wearing him in the baby carrier later in the night all went relatively smooth.

Monday: Buddha's birthday

We celebrated our last day as a family of two by attempting the city bus tour again (after it being sold out yesterday). Just call us savy tourist because we had Success!!! Finally I feel like a tourist. We jumped on the 9am tour bus and hit most of the major Seoul highlights!
1- Gwangghwamun Gate. Which is where we were yesterday
2- Deoksugung Palace (we only made time for one palace, so this one got skipped, just a quick drive by)
3- Namdaemun Market. He open air market we visited Saturday night, it had thousands of vendors selling housewares, trinkets, food . . .
4- Seoul Station. Major hub of transportation in Seoul, and shopping area
5- United Service Organization
6- Youngsan Station
7- National Museum of Korea. We stopped here for an hour or so, visited the ancient artifacts, it is an amazing building, giant!!

City view from National Museum

8- War Memorial of Korea (unfortunately it was closed today!)
9- U.S. Army Base
10- Itaewon shopping area
11- Myeongdong populate shopping district, fashion malls and department stores
12- Namsangal Traditional Korean Village we stopped here a for an hour, it is like a living history of traditional Korean living, houses, tea ceremonies, children's crafts and games, you could pay to dress up the traditional Hanboks

13- National Theather
14- N Seoul Tower (the hike up to this tower is what put both of us over the edge yesterday, but the DRIVE up was real nice today!!)
15- Namsan Botanical Garden
16- Duty free shopping at the fancy Shila Hotel. First we aren't much of shoppers and certainly not anything Duty free, that just sounds expensive so we did not take time to go in
17- Donddaemun Market, more importantly the Changshin Toy Market. This is what Valarie had been talking about for a year and a half so we had to go!! There were several hundred, felt like thousands, stalls/vendors selling toys, supposedly at wholesale price (not really sure that is the case) all this was cramped into one side street. Super crowded and overwhelming. But Evan got some fun Pororo for Christmas, and a stuffed Pororo for the plane ride. Rest assured Dan did not let me go overboard.

street view of toy market

18- Daehangno
19- Changgyeonggung Palace. This is the presidential home
20- Isadong. We have already been here twice so we didn't get back out especially since there was absolutely no room to move once off the bus, there was a huge Buddahist celebration going on, for his birthday at the temple nearby
21- Unhyungung Palace
22- Gyeongbokgung Palace (we did yesterday)
23- The National Folk Museum
24- CheongWaDae

We finished up with dinner with our new friends the Germanns we met on Friday at Eastern! They invited us to the other side of the river where they are staying. It is a whole other world over there, very modern and high end! We shared a great meal at the food court in their hotel complex. We both are sharing in the festivities tomorrow, lunch with Dr. Kim, the president of Eastern, and then in the prayer ceremony and goodbyes with the foster families, then we take custody of our kiddos!! I know it will be a special occasion that we will never forget, it is amazing that we just happen to be at Eastern at the same time and we happen to both be from Rochester!

Please continue to keep our little family, including Mrs Choi in your prayers. This transition will be filled with grief for everyone.

Gyeongbokgung Palace

Sunday we opted to make a comprehensive strategy to get as much done as possible everything was mapped out, subways, buses, everything! We started out at the Gyeongbokgung Palace was built in 1394 as the main palace for the Joseon Dynasty. The campus is huge it is also next to the national cultural museum and children's museum.

Afterwards our plan was to hop on the city bus tour, from all accounts this was a easy process pay your 10000 won and you have a day pass to hop on and off and they ferry you around to major points. Sounded great to get a better understanding geographically and hit the major places. However after standing a hot sticky crowded line for a long time someone decided to finally tell us it was sold out for the rest of the day, due to the high volume of tourists during the holiday weekend. Unbelievable.

We decided to head to the North Seoul Tower, an observatory that overlooks the city. I think we must of got incomplete directions from the ex pats that helped when they found us hunched over the map and guidebooks after the bus tour rejection. It took some serious hiking straight uphill, it was also kind of misty but not enough to cool us off. One thing in our marriage that puts each of over the edge is hunger for dan and overheating for me. Well it just happened that we both hit out breaking point at the same time we found the 1hour plus cable car line to get up the mountain. We knew at point the view of the tower would have to be enough and it was time for food and a breeze!

We found a terrific restaurant, with the help of photos and gestures Dan had this super good fried rice and bean paste sauce (doesn't sound as good as it was!!). I had the seafood platter, Dan was pretty wearry of my octopus but I was even more of the incredible amounts of chili sauce they put on it!

Figured we had better make another trip to Insadong, the artsy, craft area to look for souvenirs, I want to get Jae Hyeong (Evan) name on a few things. Well that would have been fantastic if I would have remembered to bring the Korean print of his name, well and I actually find the person that did that. How is all the other adoptive parents can figure this out? Because of th holiday there were thousands of people on this one street, including a marching band. This claustrophobic momma struggled!! After a long trip down and then back up the street we decided it was time to relax at the hotel

We came to the conclusion that if we were traveling to Seoul for a tourist experience we would keep going, because so far we are seriously unsuccessful. However that isn't out purpose here, we want to be successful at this family transition and being overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted is not the way to do that.

I find myself re-watching all the videos we made of Evan over and over again, I cannot believe this is out little boy. He is so perfect (painted nails and all). we pray that the Lord (and Mrs Choi) has been preparing his heart for this rough road ahead. It breaks my heart to think what he about ready to go through. Very very bittersweet!

Sunday

Things I have noticed:
- not many sandals or flip flops around here, I realize I'm not much of a shoe person, give me comfy tennis shoes anyday but it is incredible what ladies put their feet through to look good
- couples like to dress alike, not just similar but the same clothing (young and old)
- the only morbidly overweight person I've seen was an American
- there is better chance of finding diet dr. Pepper (my lifelong addiction) in Kosova then South Korea. I know this for a fact! My supply is dwindling, must save one for trip day!!
- I find myself staring at young Korean males wondering what will Evan look like one day, hopefully I'm not to obvious in my stares
- everyone is plugged in (phone or iPad even walking down the street just typing away on the iPad)
- I feel safe, never once felt like someone would even think to steal my bag, money or anything else! Haven't even seen any jay-walkers. Seems everyone abides by the rules.
- people are generally very helpful even if their English isn't great (it is still better than my Korean)
- there are NO trash cans anywhere I can find in public, once you are done with a cup or something like that you carry it for hours trying to find a place to put it, I finally went into a fancy department store to use the restroom and almost cried with joy when I got to get rid of my trash I had been hauling around
- I was told to prepare to be stared at because of my blond hair but I haven't found that to be true. I don't think anyone cares. But if you are non Korean you definitely stand out.
- I did have a little girl maybe 6 or 7 run up to me and start chatting away in English, perfect English. It was funny because you could tell her mom didn't understand everything she was saying.
- at meals if you ask for water to drink, you may be met with a questioning look, I'm used to downing several glasses of water at each meal, not the case here, I feel thirsty all the time!
- maps are only suggestions not strictly accurately!
- I have seen way too many government programs while riding the subway instructing me (in Korean) how to use a gas mask in case of emergency and where they are located at each substation
- a holiday weekend is not a great weekend to try to do touristy things, very chaotic!
- I may have not packed enough for me but I packed more than plenty for my boys.

gas masks in every subway station

Saturday: The hunt for the elusive Jogyesa temple

I was kind enough to allow Dan some 'me time' this morning by taking the opportunity to catch up on some much needed sleep for me! In the mean time he planned our day around visiting this incredible Buddhist temple, there are big celebrations taking place because it happens to be Buddha's birthday (a national holiday). All went well with the subway, very crowded and warm but fine. As it tends to happen it is that moment you step out of the subway onto the street and realize "where in the world are we? this map is lying!!!"
I have said those words so many times today I am tired of hearing myself. I consider myself a map lover have since the 6th grade but I am working off a multiple array of guide books, printed off, and a big tourism/folded map. I get that it isn't going to always be to scale but get the landmarks correct - they don't move!!
We took a frustrating walking tour around insadong, tapgol, and gwanghwamun in search of the temple. I was not feeling very Indiana Jones-like but in a way looking back could have been, thankfully no bad guys chasing us just cramping legs and hunger pains!

The more Dan wanted to give up the more it push me to conquer the map. Happy to report thanks in part to the handy compass on my iPhone we found the temple. Found myself thanking Jesus we had finally located it then wondered how He felt about that? It was more of thankful we didn't consider divorce in the process of hunting!

We were beat at this point and feeling like we wasted a day but couldn't bring ourselves to go back to the hotel so we ventured to Namdaemun Market, an open air market where they sell a little of everything, ended up almost like wholesaler booths, everything from luggage, socks, trinkets, serving dishes, lots of street food. I think we were both so worn out it was a bit overwhelming. Very crowded, I was so hungry I opted for a "crab stick" kind of like a chunk of crab meat rolled in a thick cake batter, not going to lie, horrible after taste, I quickly switched to pineapple on a stick. Dan found some sort of suger donuts.
I think we would have been more apt to make purchases but we thought hey it is only sat, not realizing much is closed on Sunday and Buddhas birthday is Monday so that may have been our chance.
It felt like we walked most of the way back to the hotel in search of the subway but after 30 minutes we were again scrunched like sardines in the subway car.

I used to talk a big game, wanted to move to a big city because of all it had to offer, hear me now: I'm so happy in my tiny village of Rochester! I know there had to be more people on a single subway than there are in my hometown.

After a quick bite near our hotel (BBQ). Dan fell fast asleep while I decided to wash some clothes. I figured I would pack light and wear everything twice. I didn't anticipate the sweat factor! Well our fancy room is not well equipped for doing ones laundry and I stopped up the sink and had to have maintenance come to the rescue. Clothes are drying now but probably will still stink. Maybe no one will notice if I stand near the food vendors.